Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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