Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this just has baby written all over it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize