No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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