that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
