Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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