hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
