Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
