Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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