I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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