Screwed.edu
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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