I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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