I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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