i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
