ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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