I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
