Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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