I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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