she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
3 2 1 whiskey
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
