I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
