It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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