I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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