Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize