i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
