u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
