so that wasnt chicken after all
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
