90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
