I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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