The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
