theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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