I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
