YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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