CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
