I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
