my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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