My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize