I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
