epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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