Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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