Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
