i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
