How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize