yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
