Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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