Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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