im about as happy as oj after his trial
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
