Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
