I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He did a backflip because drugs
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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