Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize