I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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