Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
