how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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