I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
