This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
