a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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