So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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