Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
